Assume Carelessness Before Malice

When someone does something that hurts or annoys you, your mind jumps to intent: "They did that on purpose." Most of the time, they did not. They were distracted, tired, uninformed, or just not thinking about you at all. Hanlon's razor says: never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by carelessness, ignorance, or incompetence.

This is not about excusing harmful behavior. It is about giving yourself a more accurate — and less stressful — starting point. When you assume bad intent, you escalate. When you assume thoughtlessness, you can address the problem calmly and find out what actually happened before burning a bridge.