How to Find a Mentor Without Asking "Will You Be My Mentor?"

Nobody wants to sign up for an open-ended obligation with a stranger. Asking someone to be your mentor is the worst way to get a mentor. It puts all the burden on them and gives them nothing. The better approach: become someone worth mentoring by doing the work first, then ask specific, small questions.

Find someone whose work you respect. Study what they've done. Then reach out with a concrete, well-researched question — not how do I succeed in your field but I tried X approach, got Y result, and I'm stuck on Z — what am I missing? Show that you've done homework. Most experts ignore vague requests but respond to sharp, specific ones. Over time, a series of good questions naturally becomes a mentorship.