Supporting a Friend in Grief -- Show Up, Shut Up, and Be Specific

When someone you care about is grieving, the instinct is to say the right thing. But there is no right thing. "They're in a better place" or "everything happens for a reason" does not comfort -- it minimizes. What helps is showing up and being specific: "I'm bringing you dinner on Thursday" is infinitely better than "let me know if you need anything."

Grief is not a problem to solve. Your job is not to make it better. Your job is to make sure they are not alone in it. Sit with them. Let them cry. Let them be angry. Let them tell the same story five times. Your presence, not your words, is the gift.